So the hubs and my boys made me the best gift ever for Mother’s Day. Seriously, the BEST gift. Period.
They made me a book on Shutterfly soley of pictures, of memories, of my boys and me. (Hands up if you thought your hubs didn’t even know what Shutterfly was. *Oops…)
This book is something else. Something special. Something wonderful. Something I will cherish. For as long as I live.
Something that, when I’m old and grey, I’ll sit and look through while simultaneously crying my eyes out.
And when I mean old and grey I actually mean 6 months from now. Because, I mean, kids man. They grow up waaaaaay too gosh darn fast.
After looking through the book a few times I learned two very important things. #1. I have a sadly small amount of pictures taken with me and my boys. (Maybe I need to invest in a selfie stick? I may have secretly wanted one of these for a while now. Gulp. But I digress.) #2. I have a lot more to learn than I realized.
As I flipped through the book for the first time all I could see was my two adorable boys with some very less-than-flattering shots of me. I looked at myself and spotted every squinted eye, every bulge, every awkward pose.
Every long nose, every extra bump, every frumpy outfit.
Many of these photos were not something I would pick out had I been making this book for myself. After telling hubs that I thought some of the pics were a little less-than-flattering, his response was simply and honestly, “They were all great.”
And it got me thinking, that’s how my boys (hubs and babies) see me. They look at those pictures and they don’t see the flaws. They don’t pick out the imperfections.
They see me….for me. They love me for who I am, what I am to them, not what they see.
They could care less about the dark-circled eyes, the greasy hair, the stretch marks, the extra wrinkles.
It’s not that they notice them and look past them….they simply don’t even see them.
And is it selfish, is it so crazy…
that I want to see myself like that?
That I want to only see God’s view of me?
The beloved creation that He made?
That He adores?
And to write it in words, is the easy part. The simple part.
Actively choosing to see myself through God’s eyes is far tougher, far harder, than simply writing it down.
But, darn it, I’m going to try.
I am His,
I am beautiful,
I am forgiven,
I am loved.
And, today, I have my wonderful boys to thank for that reminder.
So, when I find myself looking at only the outside, concentrating on the bumps, and wrinkles, and sags,
I’ll turn to God and look back on that book,
remembering what I truly am,
what really matters,
and why I’m really here.
“You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you.” Song of Solomon 4:7
Holding onto hope,